Author in Our Castle
The loud banging on the door made me hasten my packing of what little I had left to cram into my small ratty duffle bag. The tiny room consisted of a bare double mattress on a floor and a dilapidated cupboard, my room was also was located under the staircase, so it was always dark and dusty and had that miff damp smell. I look around one last time to see if there’s anything I want to take with me.
There’s nothing for me to take.
Guess when they said I’d be kicked out of the system when I turned eighteen they weren’t joking. I’ve been in the foster system all my life. I don’t know my parents and I don’t want to know them. I don’t care if they’re alive or dead, I do however care about the fact that I received a cheque for half a mill along with a financial advisor and lawyer to help me deal with my newly found wealth, which was supposedly from the person whom gave birth to me.
I took it with open arms… it didn’t mean I loved them more or hated them any less… I took it because it was money and well…I didn’t have any. The social worker that was working my case told me that my biological mother contacted her with a telephone number of an accountant that was going to help me with the money.
All of which happened two weeks ago knowing my eighteenth birthday was coming up. Apparently they’ve been investing and saving money for me since I was born. I’m not even sure if it’s even a “they” or a he or a she. Old Peggy, my case worker, isn’t one for giving a shit nor is she one for giving details.
Obviously they are wealthy people, I mean, half a mill? That’s a shit load of money, even if you did “invest or save” for eighteen years. Clearly they had the money , so that wasn’t the reason they couldn’t keep me, I guess the only reason they left me on that fucking floor that day was exactly that…they didn’t want me…
Well fuck you too! Any person who abandons their new born on the steps of children’s home without so much as a Please look after my baby or an I’m sorry notedoesn’t deserve any acknowledgment in my eyes.
It’s not that I hate them…it’s that I just don’t care to waste any emotion… love or hate... on them. I feel nothing for them, they are just the people that made me, didn’t want me and gave me enough money to help make whatever future I had left a little easier.
Peggy told me a couple of times these past few days that they wanted to get in touch with me but I refuse, I wont allow her to give them any contact information either. Peggy is one stubborn old hag but she knows not to fuck with me when it comes to my issues with the people that made me and threw me away.
She also mentioned that they hoped I could use the money to build a future for myself when I got out.
What? Did they think that foster care was a walk in a park? Some luxury holiday resort?
Oh don’t worry innocent baby we’re just going to leave you’re fragile little body on these cold stairs for someone to take you in and in eighteen years we will come back and act like we care. We’ll even give you a shit load of cash so you can ride into the beautiful sunset…
Well fuck you guys because where I have been… there was no fucking white picket fences and where I’m going? I can assure you there won’t be any of those either.
He moves away and I roll to my side and curl into a ball as I cry softly. He asks me to sit up and I do as he says, I take deep breaths as I try to calm my breathing. He asks me to lift my arms and I do even though I’m afraid of what’s next to come. I don’t expect him to put one of his large soft tee shirts on me. He pulls my long wild red hair from the shirt then he sits next to me and brings me to his lap. He holds me tightly and kisses my temple as if I was his girlfriend and we just made love.
“I’m so sorry Starr…I’m so sorry…” he whispers against my cheek. He pulls us back against the bed so I’m cuddled up to him with my head on his chest. He holds me tight as he tells me how sorry he is and how honored he feels to be my first. The way he holds me and touches me is so affectionate and even though the situation is fucked up I welcome his warmth caring touch as he holds me close to him. The tears stop and my breathing calms. I’ve never felt wanted or cared for and in some messed up way, in this fucked up moment…. I do.
“I’ve been in love with you for the past year Starr, I knew I didn’t hate you but whatever I felt for you was strong…but now…after this…I know… I love you.” He says calmly and I can feel him looking at me from the side. I don’t know what to say to this, I’ve never heard someone tell me that before…not once.
Okay…so I’ve heard a lot of I hate you’s but I love you? Never once heard that one directed at me before.
“I know it sounds crazy….but I really do, I promise to take care of you from now on and treat you how you deserve to be treated. You don’t deserve to sleep in that piece of shit room, you deserve to be next to me darling. When you’re eighteen I will get you out of here and I’ll give you everything you ever wanted…I promise you that. I’ll make it all better.”
Mira and I have been inseparable ever since the day she found me locked up in the shed. She forced me to bathe and then she gave me one of her pretty dresses to wear. We snuck into her foster mom’s sweet stash and we filled our tummies with junk. Mira and I had a lot in common and for once in my life I finally felt like I wasn’t alone anymore. Don’t let her pretty exterior fool you even though she’s the sweetest most innocent girl I’ve ever met, Mira was one tough cookie, she didn’t shut up for no-one. She has always been oblivious to how beautiful she really was and as she grew older, her beauty only blossomed.
I had a tendency for getting into trouble and getting caught, Mira was the smart one that could always talk her way out of anything, so evidently her loud mouth and my attitude got us jumping from foster home to foster home, luckily the town was small enough that we never lost touch no matter where we were placed. She taught me how to read and she taught me how to trust, two things I never knew how to do. I was always there for her when she needed me and she was always at my rescue when I had gotten myself into trouble. I looked up to her and all I wanted to do was make her proud.
A loud rumble behind me makes me pop my head up, I spot headlights on the road and I watch as two motorcycles pass me. I slow my steps as I watch them stop a few meters away from where I’m standing and park their bikes alongside the sound walk in front of what looks like a bar. There’s a couple men standing around bikes with drinks in their hands and they’re all a loud bunch. My eyes land on the two men who just climbed off the motorcycles, they’re taller than the others and bigger too.
Both are fucking massive, the outlines of their stomach muscles and pecks can be seen through their tight shirts, both have tattoos running down their right arms. Both wear leather jackets on with some sort of Grim Reaper cartoon on and I’m guessing they’re part of some club.
The blond one doesn’t hang around long, he nods at the other men who wear the same jackets and then enters the bar.
My eyes turn back to the dark haired one and my mouth drops open, the dude is freaking gorgeous. His black hair reaches the tops of his shoulders, he has a frown on his face as he looks down on his phone. Then he tucks it into his back pocket and runs a hand through his long hair pulling it away from his face. He doesn’t smile as he greets the surrounding men, a man nudges his shoulder and hands him a beer. I can’t stop staring at this man, somehow he intrigues me, the anger and edginess radiating off him is appealing, he seems uptight as if he’s about to combust at any minute and even though I’m a couple meters away from the crowd, I still can’t help but stare.
I notice a couple of curious eyes on me.
I turn around, either I walk back the way I came or I walk past all these biker dudes. I look back at the bar… fuck it.
I walk toward the direction of the bar. I never used to give a shit about anything or anyone, nothing scared me when I was younger, I want that fearlessness back. Meeting Mira made me stronger but then I lost her and I was back to feeling weak and alone and when I was shoved into Danny’s house that just made me weaker.
I need to do this. I’m not weak.
One step at a time…
I keep my eyes focused on the ground ahead of me and head toward the bar. The music from inside gets louder as I get closer, so does the sound of laughter and chatter. The sidewalk is completely crowded, I make my way through the people hating the feeling of their closeness and the smell of cigarette in the air. I fucking hate that smell… it reminds me of the last time I ever saw Mira and even though I hate the smell I can’t help but breath it in.
Someone bumps into me and I’m pushed against someone hard back.
“Shit… I’m so sorry.” I turn around just as they do and I come face to face with a black shirt covered chest. The word Raven is the first thing that catches my eys as I look at the leather that covers his chest. He rolls his shoulder and I can feel his eyes studying me as he looks down at me, the outline of hard pecks fill my vision with his movement and my eyes widen as I look up.
His green eyes stare down at me, spilt beer drips from his hand where he holds the beer in his tight grip.
“You made me spill my beer.” His voice is rough and just how imagined it would sound.
“I’m sorry.” I repeat then make a move to get out of the crowd and away from this scary motherfucker.
He grabs hold of my arm and tugs me back gently. I look up at him confused, my movement stiff.
“I’m sorry won’t get me my beer back.” He says, his tone serious.
I look down at the half empty beer and to where his hand is still wrapped around my upper arm. It’s tight but not tight enough to hurt. I reach for my handbag and pull out my purse.
“Put that away, I don’t want your money.” He grits out and I look back up to his eyes. I notice they’re a little red but it doesn’t take away from those beautiful green eyes he has. I wish mine were that pretty.
I shove the purse back into my handbag, my hand has now started to shake and the people surrounding us are making me feel claustrophobic. I look around and see no one is actually paying him and I any attention, all are busy with their own conversations.
“W… what do you want then?” I look up to his eyes again but have to look away, the way he’s looking at me. I need to get away, I have to get back to the motel room.
He leans down and I force myself to look at his face, I watch as he licks his lips and looks my body over, “You one of the whores?”
My eyes widen and I’m left breathless, my mouth falls open. “What the…” I look down at my clothing to see if I chose the wrong outfit. Nope, just a pair of jeans and a top, I’m wearing sneakers for fuck sakes.
This dude is a fucking dick.
I lose all inhibition as I tilt my head to the side, “Do I look like a fucking whore to you?”
Exclusive Excerpt of:
This Broken Beautiful Beast (Broken Beautiful #2)
After tonight I knew things were going to change. For the better that is…
I had a secret and I was finally going to tell the boy of my dreams, the love of my life, soul mate and boyfriend of the last four years.
I wasn't prepared for what actually happened…
I didn't expect to lose my boyfriend and best friend in one night…. Things weren't supposed to end this way.
My heart was ripped out, split in two and stomped on for all to see.
I was humiliated and betrayed.
How deep can the knife of betrayal cut before it’s too late to wrench it out and let the forgiveness heal?
Is forgiveness even possible when you’ve been hurt in the worst possible way?
Can a soul so broken and ruined ever be restored?
How am I supposed to heal from this when I have a reminder of the beautiful man whom broke me looking up to me every day?
Harley is the product of a one night stand. Her mother being an all-out train-wreck and her father the President of a notorious Motorcycle Club. She lives with her mother in a run-down apartment near the strip club she works for, her father lives a few hours away. To say she’s had a rough childhood is an understatement. Her life is the complete opposite to the luxury Caleb was brought up with. He is wealthy but never looks down at
Harley since he is completely and utterly in love with her.
Harley has just graduated from High School, it’s their fourth year anniversary and tonight she has a secret to tell him before they head out to college and move into their new apartment together. They've been best friends since they met in Kindergarten and haven’t let anyone come between them despite being complete opposites. Caleb is the typical jock and Harley, his dorky sidekick.
What happens when Harley is betrayed...by none other than Caleb? What happens when Harley's secret is revealed? She runs to her father, now she has to learn to adapt to the Motorcycle Club life that her father leads. She has a long road ahead of her, surrounded by possessive bikers with dirty mouths and beautiful tattoo clad bodies she’s forced to understand the place of a woman in this club, even when she doesn't agree. Will Harley be able to resist Raven, the soon to be Vice President of the Club, when she captures his attention?
***AUTHORS NOTE: There is a cliffhanger so be warned
“Can’t live without you... I don’t want to be alone in the dark…”
Jace’s last words play in my head over and over as I lay in this dark trunk. I can hear his faint mumbling through the insulation of the backseat. I cry louder, asking for him to pull over, to let me out.
Praying for him to take me back to my baby girl.
Hitting my fists against the top of the trunk I scream and yell, but nothing… He continues to drive further and further away from my family.
I have just found my way back to Caleb. We are supposed to be a family.
I need him to find me, save me from the Beast Jace has become…
This was supposed to be our new beginning… we were meant to start fresh, a clean break.
They all said that Jace was a monster… a dangerous man that I should steer clear of but they had it all wrong.
It’s only when Raven comes out to play does he become the person so many fear.
I was so wrong to think I understood him.
No one understands him…
I thought I knew who he was but I had no idea the secrets he was keeping from me and the Club.
I should have listened to their warnings, should have taken their advice but I had been drawn to a broken soul and I thought I could mend it….fix him somehow.
After all is said and done, only one question remains…who will fix me when I break?
I was brought up with a picture-perfect family and the life to match. I believed all those happy-ever-after stories momma read to me and the Fairytales she would whisper before bedtime about my Prince Charming finding me one day. Momma found daddy so it was only inevitable I found my prince too, right?
Tragedy strikes before Lexi's 16th birthday and the flawless life she once knew is shattered and tarnished.
Everyone and everything changes, she decides the only way to survive is to keep all her emotions under lock and not let anyone in. She loses friends, the very ones that were by her side most of her life are now the ones bullying her and making her life hell.
She's forced to relocate to a small secluded town, little does she know that the town is run by werewolves. Her first night in town she befriends a brown wolf in the woods. Seeking solace in the comfort of the wolf she tells him all her secrets knowing the animal cant betray her or pity her like humans do. One night at a bar she runs into a gorgeous guy named Jax, she’s under the impression he’s human but in fact he’s the soon to be Alpha of the towns pack. Jax immediately feels a connection to her and she feels the same way.
A bond forms...
What will happen when the brown wolf from the woods enters the picture …in his human form? Will she recognize him? What will happen to Lexi and Jax? Will Lexi’s trust in her friends remain after all the secrets are revealed? Will she accept the fact that her best friends are werewolves and there’s a secret world out there? Will Lexi reveal her secrets? Something she’s ashamed to admit and something that could put them in danger.
While she hides her feelings for one of the wolves, she falls madly in love with the other, thinking that her mother was right after all - she’s found her prince charming, tragedy will strike once again.
How will she mend her broken heart this time?
This book contains violence as well as alcohol and drug abuse. It is not for the faint hearted, don't expect to see werewolves running free and frolicking in meadows filled with daisies - want a romantic werewolf/human love story? Then look elsewhere because this is NOT the book for you. It's raw, gritty and exactly what you would expect from obsessive possessive Alpha's. Want a challenge? Read it.
Excerpt for Alexia Eden
Mom always told me that love conquers all. If you love someone with all your heart and with all that you have to give – no matter the problems you face as long as you were together it will be all right… She said that you know you’ve found your soul mate when it would hurt when they weren’t by your side and just being in their presence would soothe that ache.
I always thought it was just one of those silly things mothers would tell their daughters, similar to those quotes on the bottom of each page in a diary that are supposed to be inspirational but in fact leave you thinking what…the…fuck…
She also had those cheesy moments too however, when I was upset because the boys at the playground were being mean to me, she’d say “Don’t worry my lil’ Lex, one day you’ll find your prince charming, just like I did when I found your daddy”.
Of course I wasn’t that naïve to actually believe in Fairytales and all the stories she would tell me about love as I grew older but I had hope, hope that one day I would find that person I would love so much that I would do anything and everything possible just to be with them, that I would find my soul mate, my other half ...the person meant just for me…
At the age of fifteen I felt that my life was great, my friends were amazing, my parents were the perfect duo and we were all as happy as could be, seeing my parents work through all the hard times that life threw at them, they still overcame it all, it really made me truly believe that love could possibly conquer all…
Guess that was before daddy was killed in the car accident when an eighteen wheeler truck skipped the red light, before mom started taking prescription drugs to deal with the depression or before we were thrown out our home because we didn’t have money to pay for it since mom stopped looking after the Gyms and spent all the money on anything to take her mind off what was really happening.
Let’s just say that nobody told me what to do or what would happen when you lost that one person you loved so much, the person that you would do anything and everything to be with them, the one who was your soul mate, your other half... the person meant just for you…
Yeah…I know, I ran.
I fled and left my friends behind in Point Bright. Some would say that only cowards run but I’d say running away from the people I once loved most was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I’d even take boyfriends whipping you into believing you loved them any day over having to deal with the torment in seeing the look on Ronny or Chloe’s faces as I drove away from them.
Even the guilt and longing of missing the friendships we all once had was harder to deal with than finding your boyfriend banging another chick. So to say running away was no easy decision, is an understatement.
The possibility of losing my friends due to my need to flee was an entirely new sort of hurt I hadn’t felt before but the fact that I had lost myself these past months almost killed me.
I had to get back to the strong girl I was before Point Bright broke me down and fucked with my head but I wasn’t sure how and if I could ever possibly be that person again. Too much has happened since then… too much crazy shit has gone down.
I know things now that I never thought was remotely possible back when I was innocent and naïve, the girl with the pure heart is long gone and left in her wake… is me, the girl with the tainted one.
My heart has been repeatedly fractured only to be mended then shattered again.
How long before my heart gives out?
Love can be so torturous…
In one night I managed to lose the boy whom hurt me yet told me I was his world, the same boy who made me feel like I mattered… even if that meant disciplining me into submission or forcing me to love him. Maybe the beatings worked after all? Or maybe I was a stupid lonely girl trying to make up for the neglect I experienced in previous years, but even after all the crap he put me through I loved him fiercely and stood by him, only to find him in bed with my arch-nemeses… but they were mates , as the Fates would say, so it was okay.
Yeah right… Insert eye roll.
Finding out the boy I’ve been in love with since the moment I laid my eyes on him but couldn’t have was my mate ,was as incredible experience… only to have him reject me because he believed I was too weak to be the Luna of his pack.
Boy was he wrong.
Ultimately forcing me to leave Chloe and Ronny behind, the girls who have been sisters to me, ending up at my parents pack house and smacking head first into a really muscular chest, only to find out…
I’ve found my second chance mate…
Exclusive Excerpt of:
Fairytales Don't Exist #2
About Sophie Summers
I live in a small coastal town called Umkomaas, it’s based on the South Coast of KwaZulu Natal, South Africa. Writing stories when I was younger was always a passion of mine that no one knew about because I was too afraid to share. As I grew older I found my voice, I finally found the courage to speak up and share my work. I enjoy reading all sorts of genres and even though I have my favorites in New Adult Contemporary, I don’t mind delving into the darker genres too.
When I’m not working? I’m studying, writing or reading.
Although my life is busy as ever and I’m still learning my way around the Indie Author scene, there is not one thing I regret when it comes to the path I've taken that lead me to where I am today. The lessons I've learnt and the people I've met along the way are my reasons for this. I work hard and write harder.
Look me up sometime, even if it's just for a chat.
Facebook profile - https://www.facebook.com/sophie.summers.1048
Web address: http://sophiesummers.weebly.com/